I AM A PERVERT!

I expect I owe anyone possibly reading this an explanation of the horrendous title of my expose'. This is not about sexual perversion. Depending upon your point of view it may be about something worse.

In my daily journaling of the Scriptures,I happened upon Mark, chapter 3, somewhere around the 29th and 30th verses. (The Message does not fully identify the verses. It's my best guess.) It reads: "There's nothing done or said that can't be forgiven. But if you persist in your slanders against God's Holy Spirit, you are repudiating the very one who forgives." Following that (to prove my point)it says, "...sawing off the branch on which you're sitting, severing by your own perversity all connection with the One who forgives."

Perversity is a noun which comes from the adjective "perverse", which means "turning away from what is right or good; to be corrupt." Therefore, by this examination of words, I am a pervert. I don't like being a "pervert". I don't even like being "corrupt". But I have corrupted the beautiful gift given to all of us by Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. How? Well, that's the crux of it.

I must not have totally accepted healing, for I often suffer from the insane thought that I am, for the most part, either to blame, therefore ashamed, or blaming someone else for--whatever. I fight like crazy (and some think I really am!) to not blame or shame, but when I don't fight it off with a stupendous battle, I get stuck in what I call "limbo". When I finally recognize what I'm doing to myself,and or another, I go to the Lord, repent, and pray that I will again receive or give this most gracious gift--forgiveness.

What happens in the brain and heart before I recognize what I am doing? My thinking has become corrupt; I have allowed my thoughts to become perverted. They need to be sorted out. Did I do something wrong, unkind, or stupid? Yes. I did. What can I do about it? I can talk to whomever I have hurt, intended or unintended. I can turn the other cheek, or everything could backfire and we would all be worse off, for "limbo" can take a long time sometimes to go away. I can and must ask forgiveness, both of God and the person involved, believing "I AM FORGIVEN."

Too often there is people damage which I then fight through by going to them and asking forgiveness. I must ask forgiveness of God and any other involved, and BELIEVE I AM FORGIVEN. God will forgive when I repent--always. Others may or may not forgive, but their forgiveness is not crucial; only our meaningful asking for it is crucial. I must never--again-- question the great privilege God has given me through his death on the cross--forgiveness.

If I don't ask for forgiveness or believe I am not forgiven, guess what? You're right..I'll be in "limbo", which I call another form of hell.

So, do as I say and not as I've done--accept your imperfection with a prayer and the imperfection of others with a turn of the cheek and a prayer and take, blessedly, what Jesus died for: absolute forgiveness, absolutely now.

Are we still friends? Do you forgive my tendency for "limbo"? I'll forgive you!

Ever, Jo. (Once a Pervert)

IS GOD ON THE MOVE?

Journaling is important to me. I journal 6 days a week; but Sunday? uh uh. What I learn or take from Sunday is important to me, too. A good sermon gets me to thinking and thinking gets me to learning and learning gets me to improving my journaling. Someday I hope my children's children's children and onward get something out of all these words.

Now as to the recent journaling I want to talk about here. Zechariah 2:13 caught my attention. From The Message it says, "Quiet, everyone! Shh! Silence before God. Something's afoot in His holy house. He is on the move!"

Well, you know Zechariah and his visions. He had a good many. But in his third vision he could see many godless nations had connected to Zechariah's own God. Yet, God was again choosing Jerusalem, reclaiming Judah's inheritance in the Holy Land. Zechariah warned the people to be silent before God.

Seems interesting, right? Would that God spoke to us, even if we were to be quiet, saying, "Hey! I'm working in your churches right now. I'm bringing the Holy Spirit into your lives big time. Wake up and see! Listen! Don't shrug me off! I am on the move!

Now let's play "what if." What if all this fear that's rolling around between the Muslim people and the Christian people is a wake-up call from God meant for us believers? What if we may be facing a kind of war ahead between Christians and unbelievers, not necessarily Muslims, but all unbelievers of Jesus Christ being the Son of God? What would be our instant thought? How would we react? What would be expected of us? How many of us as Christians are mature enough to not fall back to a safer life? Would I be able to stay steadfast in my faith? Would you?

The whole world would be at risk. Life as we know it would be changed. The churches might be...gone. We wouldn't be sure who was and who wasn't a Christian. There would be persecution.

Someday there really will be persecution. Everything that Jesus went through from humiliation to death will be waiting for us! Would our faith be able to carry us through....anything?

I can't answer for you and as for myself....well, I don't know that I can answer that either. I can only hope that I would latch on to Jesus' hand and not let go. In fact, I'm asking Him, right now, to take both my hands, my eyes, my ears, and my mind most of all that I may see clearly, hear rightly, and love Him completely and mature to completion in the hands of the Holy Spirit. If I don't, I may never get to say, "Lord, forgive them...for they know not what they do."

What time is it , Lord? Are you on the move? I pray for more and more of your Holy Spirit to guide me through this possible new era of the Church. Wake up, Church---Here we go!!!

With hope, jo