Focus on Others....Who Me?

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot evening, I was helping out at church with a group who arrived by bus from a Single Women's Shelter. The church was hostessing an over-flow of women that all might have a good, safe night's rest. I think there were about 20 women that night and we, having an excess of food from another outing, were able to provide the women with good food to eat as well as a good place to sleep.

I was privileged to hand out the sheets and blankets, etc and when I finished, I went to sit and visit. Now, I have never been really good at starting conversations and I wondered what I could ask them. God showed me later that I had led the conversation to something to which I could relate. It was just a way to make myself comfortable or possibly even to put me in a favorable light. God says, "Shame on you!!" for those antics, and I say, "Shame on me!"

A friend of mine once said to me,"Just once I wish someone would ask me a question!" She was exellent at starting conversations and no one could ever say that she talked about herself, as I have a tendency to do. Now I envied her that talent, but never taught myself how to do it.

I must be a slow learner, because at my age I should have learned by now how to get people to talk about themselves. And I have now written down some simple questions to ask these ladies at the next opportunity. I will memorize them, if I must! "Where did you grow up?" "Have you lived in AZ long?" "Where did you live before?" "Do you have brothers and sisters?" "Did you like school?" "Are you still able to see your old friends?" "I love animals, did you have any pets?" "What did you want to be when you grew up?"

I will not ask all of these things or they will think they are taking a lie-detector test! But these should give us a starting place and the trick, for me, will be to keep the conversation going by remembering, "It's all about the other person!"

My scripture for journaling yesterday was from James. Anyone surprised? And yes, I did write about this humbling experience. James 3:14,15 (THE MESSAGE)"Mean spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourself sound wise isn't wisdom....It's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others, or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats."

I don't need to compare my life with the lives of these women other than how our lives are blessed. They may be blessed with having a safe place to sleep. I am blessed because we can offer it. I don't need to be popular there. They don't need my credentials. They just want to be safe for the night, and in an air-conditioned building and not under a bridge.

I just thank God for opening my eyes to my selfish spirit in conversation. Me, me, me would bore the bloomers off of these good women who have hit a bad batch and aren't looking for anything but a little unselfishness.

Thanks for listening to my hard-earned insight! I hope it might help someone out there who struggles with this problem of "how to get the other person talking."

Fondly, Jo
HMMM! I wonder if my extra pair of jeans will fit anybody next week?