GOD'S BLINDING LIGHT

Just a warning!  Today's blog will be a hard one for me to write.  But here goes:

In Exodus 34:29, Moses came down from Mt. Sinai carrying the Ten Commandments, his face glowed  from the light of God.   In Psalm 16:11, the psalmist's feet were radiant from the shining of God's face.  In Acts 9:9 Saul continued blind for three days, because the blinding light of Jesus spoke to him on the way to Damascus and told him to follow Him.

I think we can agree the bible often has spoken about the Light of the Lord  being the Light of the World!

We are mere mortals.  Moses was mortal.  The psalmist was mortal.  Saul was mortal and, although he was changed to Paul, he was still mortal.  But we mortals do have heavenly experiences once and awhile.  I'd like to confess how an experience of mine was terribly misunderstood.

I was a very new Christian and anxious to serve my Lord.  I had accepted the volunteer position of being chair of the children's ministry at our church.  The small, heated room for our Babies was tended by a wonderful woman who had immigrated with her family from Northern Europe. It was winter and the heat in the little room had become odorous.  It became my job to take care of the situation.

I had taken the problem to the Pastor in charge of that area, and not knowing how to solve the problem, he agreed that I should speak to this woman, kindly and with love.  Perhaps, in retrospect, we should have spoken with our main minister or the Session (a group of lay persons who are available for help in decision-making), but we thought with God's help I could do it.

The night before I was to go there was a raging snowstorm. In spite of it, I believed God wanted me to go and visit with her, prepared to speak with her as a friend about the situation in the little room, even with the storm.  In the middle of the night, I awoke to a bright light at the foot of my bed.  It was not an ordinary light, so I said, "Is it you, Lord?" Of course, there was no voice in answer.  So, I doubted it was a warning.

Still intent on doing my job for Jesus, I set out the next day in the storm.  I could barely see.  I had to drive slowly.  At one point, I nearly hit a truck.  At another crucial turn, I missed it.  Lost, I wandered a bit until I finally found myself at her front door.

She smiled as she opened the door.  She had made a wonderful dessert which was delicious.  We had tea and she told me about her European home.  I remember nothing, as I didn't know how I was going to break this peace and joy with my awfulness.

Finally, I did. I told her about the complaints, but tried to soften it with the love I had for her, and the love felt by all who had met her, and the love she had for our babies. 

I realized how angry she was becoming.  I felt so bad, sad, and wrong!  I left quickly, sending her as much love as I knew how under the poor circumstances.  There was no shining light coming from my face.  No God on my countenance!

My report to my authorities was short. " It's done."  The woman and her family left the church.
Years later, I found her phone number and tried to speak with her.  She hung up.

Again, even later.  I was forced to resign a church volunteer job that I tried to do well.  There were those that didn't like how I was doing my job, and I was fired. I felt the sting of embarassment and shame.  It took a while for me to forgive. But I began to really understand how my European friend had felt that awful day.

Being a Christian isn't always easy.  Seeing the light of God is a rarity.  I wish I had known.  I hope I remember.  I trust God to continue to teach me--a slow learner.  But I shall always seek His face!

Thus sayeth the Lord, "I will prevail!" Yes, He will!

Love to all you out there. in never-never land!

Jo